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Ok, so I used to hate just employment agents and real estate agents, but I have decided to extend my prejudice to include all genre's of "agent".
I have been trying to arrange a honeymoon for January next year, much to my dismay I have realised that the travel agents are as full of rubbish as second hand car salesmen.
Let me start with their advertising. If you are ever reading the Saturday papers and looking through the travel section at the latest selection of enticing specials, always look out for the key word - "from". When a special is advertised at say, "From R5000", what they really mean is that if you only want to fly in, take a photo of the resort, dip a toe in the sea and fly back out the same day, then that price is for you. In these specials, even toilet paper gets added to your bill at the end of the holiday.
Always budget for at least double the price of these specials. But there are other keywords, and I think the real estate agents have been running some secret courses for the travel agents over the years. I have come across the word "rustic" to describe rooms. Rustic, sounds quaint, cutesy, maybe a little bit of work needed on the decor? No, rustic means that your room will be on the outskirts of the local village, probably built on an ancient grave site and you will most likely have to rent a 4x4 to get from your room to the beach.
I don't like to generalise, in fact I hate all those people who generalise. But, I have spoken to quite a number of agencies in the last few weeks, and they all seem to have the same problem, listening. For instance, I am getting married on the 27th January, which I of course tell the agent, and then ask her to work out some deals, make some recommendations and give me a couple of quotes. So I get ONE quote back, to an island I've never heard of, and the departure date is the 26th of January. Now, I usually start off polite, so I ask for the date to be changed. No sir. Unfortunately Oompa Loompa Land airlines only flies on Thursdays. Doesn't quite help me getting married on Friday then does it. My dear, I can see why your parents only paid for a six month diploma, they wanted you out of the house for fear of the gene pool police knocking on the door.
I figured out one way to irritate the travel agents though. These little agencies you see dotted around your local shopping mall, they are just that, agents. The tour operators are the ones who dictate the price and actually provide a real service. I figured this out after asking a few agents for the same quote and getting back exactly the same information. So I started pitting them against each other, asking one if they could beat the other ones price. I figure after a week of this I will get their commission down to a tea bag.
And angry is the word, I was even asked by one agent if I want her to continue quoting or not as her operator had advised her that they have received multiple enquiries for exactly the same package. I informed her on the ways of the Western world and that competition was a natural course of business in these parts. I had to use sign language, though to explain the concept of capitalism, but it started getting quite rude and I was worried about security escorting me out of the mall so I gave up. I have images of her still sitting at her desk, mouth open, staring at the spot where I was standing three days ago, still wondering which planet I have come from.
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